my nerves clench in fear,

am i one step closer

to a life i do not need (but should i?),

or want (how do i know?).

manicured nails,

manicured lawns,

a white picket fence

that suffocates my soul.

running, running, running

on idyllic empty –

too hard to let go,

too unhappy to stay,

too scared to live.